An open letter to the coyotes in the woods behind my house

Every night. Yipping, howling and obnoxious sounds break the silence of the night. Every night, I wake up my owner to investigate. The result? Not enough sleep for Cinnamon. So here goes....

Dear Coyotes:

I'm tired of being awakened at 2 a.m., 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. Your hours are not compatible with my sleeping hours which are 7 p.m. to 9 a.m.  I just don't like you guys. You are noisy. You smell. And you are too close to my backyard fence. Too close!

I'm on to you. I know where you live. Today I went by the entrance to the woods. It has a chain across it but the "do not trespass" sign is on the ground. I CAN GET YOU! I know where your den is and I know you sleep during the day.

If you don't stop bothering me, I'm going to OUT YOU TO THE AUTHORITIES. I'll give you three days to get out of town.

I'm putting you on notice. WE DON'T LIKE YOUR KIND HERE!  Only civilized suburban dogs who sleep at night are welcome. GO AWAY! VAYA!

Signed, Cinnamon the sleepy coonhound

Full Moon and the Woods are Full of Coyotes

Here I am at 4 a.m. wide awake. I wanted OUT!

I woke up with a start. I looked at the clock. It was 4 a.m. If you know me, you know I usually don't get up until, say, around 9 a.m.! But things were really weird last night.

The full moon shone on the trees in the woods and was lighting up the den where I sleep. I heard the terrifying sounds of coyotes on the prowl. THEY WERE IN THE WOODS RIGHT BEHIND MY HOUSE.

I jumped up and howled! I ran downstairs to the sliding glass door to the yard and went bonkers! My owner came running and wouldn't let me out. The hair on my back was standing on end. Nothing could quiet me. It was as bad as knowing a pack of werewolves were out there. I had to get out. I just had to!

But my owner would have no part of letting me out. She knew if I went out, I would awaken the whole neighborhood. By then it was 4:15 a.m. I paced, I growled, I howled inside the house.

To calm me down, my owner took me out in front on the leash. She walked me up and down the street. I was still hyper-alert but that helped. The coyotes weren't in front. Finally I calmed down a bit. She shut the windows in the den so I couldn't smell or hear them.

After several trips down stairs begging to go out (and the my immediate forced return to my upstairs bed) I finally gave up.

By 5 a.m. I went back to sleep. WHAT A NIGHT!